well well welllllll, yes yes just at work again chillin =) sold a couple of things, but today is going to be a good day i can tell =P, its already 2:26 and to be honest time flewwww for some reason, it feels like a minute ago i just barely opened up, but anyway i opened a bit early today cos i had a super duper bad stomach so i went in the store to use the restroom and after i was done i was like ehh, 20 mins aint going to kill me, so i opened up the store...everything was going good till i find the a/c isnt working so im like omg fml seriosuly?, then about half an hour into the first hour of the day, god saves me and i hear the rumble of the a/c get going, i was like "yes thank you lord!"...but yeah other than that today has been pretty normal =)
after work today is going to be good, im taking kim to go meet my grandma, the reason being is that my grandma being shes pretty high up there in age, she doesnt have that much more time left here with us, im pretty sure my dad said she has cancer, so i want her to meet kim since my grandma has already met david, which is my sister's boyfriend and most likely soon fiance, but anyway yeah so after work i need to zoom to kim's place pick her up and then i think go back home for a minute or two, then go to my grandma's house, im pretty sure we are eating there, but yeah good food though =)
i find that when i write in my blogs, it relieves me a lot from maybe the stress that is on my mind now, or maybe even weeks or days before, which is why i try to keep this thing updates as often as possible, i kinda thought at first oh this will just be like my xanga which i dont even remember the name for anymore it was so dang long ago, that thing i maybe went strong for about a month then iono what happened just stopped i guess, but yeah this is not like it, for some reason it intrigues me more and makes me want to jot down the toughts in my head
well this is all im going to post for this time, ill update tomorrow on how today goes =) seeya!
craig<3kim
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
another night
hello folks, just doing my daily update, err i try to but sometimes im slip up, im only human =P, anyway just chillin at work, till tonight there might be a little beer ponging going on, but who knows we'll see, this job isnt so bad =), id much rather be here than home, id probably be doing the same thing at home right now, so hey, why not make aome money along with it right? well anyway the weather has been extremely hot, business has been at a snails pace, and no new shipments of clothes =(...we gotta wait and see how things go i guess..
at times when im at home i feel like, she only puts up with me, because she needs my help, to get daily activities done, she was talking to me about my sister eaier in the week, and she just said, "yeah your sister moved out as soon as she could", and i can kinda see why now, i wouldnt mind talking to my mom, but she needs to think of some new subjects or things to say, always the same thing over and over, its like you said that already and its getting really annoying, i feel like its kinda unfair to me, i do want to move out as in present time like right now, i wouldnt mind moving out with a couple of friends or hell on my own, but im unable to cos of my mom, so in a way, im stuck, and i DONT want to live with her for the rest of my life, its like shes keeping tabs on me with whatever i do, im already 20 years old, she needs to start treating me like i am, i mean ill admit i have said some mean things, but i dont say them cos im a dick, i say them because it gets to the point where this is beggening to be too much for me to handle, i want to live life now while i still can and have fun, and yes i do that, but in the back of my mind i still have that thought about my mom... all she does is complain about her knee, i mean i get the point, it bugs you and it hurts and it must be hell not being able to walk normal or bend down, but she brings the pain upon herself, such as og ill mop the floor, or ill clean the sink, or ill sit down and wash the tub, then when i come home im already tired from work or from school, and all i hear about is oh my knee this oh my knee that, its so frusturating, sometimes i feel like telling her to shut the eff up about your damn knee, its not my fault you didnt go to college and had to work a manual labor job and we all know youre not the most physically fit person on this earth, the doctor told her to go on a diet and lose weight for her knee so there wont be so much pressure on it, but she just ignores his advice and eats whatever whenever...while we are on the topic of food, after work she always has me go get something, sometimes i just want to go straight home,
at times when im at home i feel like, she only puts up with me, because she needs my help, to get daily activities done, she was talking to me about my sister eaier in the week, and she just said, "yeah your sister moved out as soon as she could", and i can kinda see why now, i wouldnt mind talking to my mom, but she needs to think of some new subjects or things to say, always the same thing over and over, its like you said that already and its getting really annoying, i feel like its kinda unfair to me, i do want to move out as in present time like right now, i wouldnt mind moving out with a couple of friends or hell on my own, but im unable to cos of my mom, so in a way, im stuck, and i DONT want to live with her for the rest of my life, its like shes keeping tabs on me with whatever i do, im already 20 years old, she needs to start treating me like i am, i mean ill admit i have said some mean things, but i dont say them cos im a dick, i say them because it gets to the point where this is beggening to be too much for me to handle, i want to live life now while i still can and have fun, and yes i do that, but in the back of my mind i still have that thought about my mom... all she does is complain about her knee, i mean i get the point, it bugs you and it hurts and it must be hell not being able to walk normal or bend down, but she brings the pain upon herself, such as og ill mop the floor, or ill clean the sink, or ill sit down and wash the tub, then when i come home im already tired from work or from school, and all i hear about is oh my knee this oh my knee that, its so frusturating, sometimes i feel like telling her to shut the eff up about your damn knee, its not my fault you didnt go to college and had to work a manual labor job and we all know youre not the most physically fit person on this earth, the doctor told her to go on a diet and lose weight for her knee so there wont be so much pressure on it, but she just ignores his advice and eats whatever whenever...while we are on the topic of food, after work she always has me go get something, sometimes i just want to go straight home,
Thursday, August 27, 2009
changing before MY eyes
i guess everyone can say that people will change through out the years, i say that is true, you can change for the better or just go completely south...ive known people who have gone down and just never have come back up, or just started on their left foot and just kept going. i guess for me ive changed for the better, after talking to my god brother, and how we talked about the past, i remember how i was down for anything, no matter what it would be, riding for them, running with the bad crowd, didnt matter who was around, how many there were at the time, how big they were, how small they were... also the temper i had, even if you looked at me wrong, i would explode and think hey wtf is this guy's problem? and the clothes i used to wear, i look back and think jeez how dumb did i look, walking around thinking i was the baddest $%#@$%@#%@^ that walked the earth... all the baggy jeans, the raiders jerseys, the Nike cortez i cant believe i wanted that kind of life style, its cool when you first get into it, but if you take a step back and look at the whole picture, you will basically go nowhere if you keep that kind of mentality, im glad that i met people who i started kick it with and slowly on my own get tired of it and change, not only for myself, but for my family and friends.
now at this point in my life, im helping out my mom, going to school, keeping a steady job (thanks paul), being a faithful boyfriend, trying to keep in touch with friends...i think ive changed for the better... just next time if im faced with a change, i know to think twice and look at the whole picture and not act on impulse.
craig<3Kim
now at this point in my life, im helping out my mom, going to school, keeping a steady job (thanks paul), being a faithful boyfriend, trying to keep in touch with friends...i think ive changed for the better... just next time if im faced with a change, i know to think twice and look at the whole picture and not act on impulse.
craig<3Kim
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
happy 3 month anniverary
i would like to start off this post by saying happy 3 month anniversary to my perfect girlfriend Kimberly Ip =]....
ok well here we go, ill make this one short since im pretty tired and considering its about 3:46 AM, well back in the day, me and my friends had this thing about 3 months it was cursed that you will break up before or on 3 months, looks like we demolished that one <3....
Gnite
Craig<3Kim!
ok well here we go, ill make this one short since im pretty tired and considering its about 3:46 AM, well back in the day, me and my friends had this thing about 3 months it was cursed that you will break up before or on 3 months, looks like we demolished that one <3....
Gnite
Craig<3Kim!
fight for what you love, even if it kills you
i love my family
i love my girlfriend
i love my homies
i love my life...
even if it kills me
i love my girlfriend
i love my homies
i love my life...
even if it kills me
Sunday, August 23, 2009
last day of summer
well for me and most of my friends its our last day of summer, im opening the shop today so it aint too bad, but i must say this summer has been a real eye opener..saw old friends, met new people, tried new things, it has been pretty good id say...this summer was so different than last years, amazing how many things and how people can change in only a year.. i think that even though we had a lot more homie fun last summer, that this summer has been more 1 on 1 fun with just me and someone else, rather it be me and kim, me and law, or me and paul, everyone is basically doing their own thing this summer so its hard to find time when everyone is available, unlike last year, we were just all free all day everyday, i still remember when we would go to peter's house in the morning and he'd still be knocked out and we would wait for everyone to meet up and head out...oh man good times, and how we would burn out spots, such as the shoppes in chino hills, that was one of the best summers of my life, just giys night out everday of the summer haha...but this summer was really fun, i loosened up a lot this summer and im not so stressed this time around, a lot more carefree...above all i was very productive this summer, i didnt just sit around and do jack squat, but thanks to one of my best friends paul, i have a job and im making some money, to mainly spend on whateevers such as school, books, and the gf
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
done for a year
yesssss sweeeeet im done for another whole year atleast for the dreaded jury duty, i mean it wasnt all that bad since my case got cancelled, so all in all i woke up at 6AM took a shower and washed up, then i got dressed, ate, and then i left my house at 7:15 got there around 7:30 and got to the jury assembly room around 7:45...well around 8 oclock orientation started, and blah blah blah, instructions, then she said our judge was busy, so they played a tape about jury duty, such as what goes on and guidlines so to speak. after the movie had ended she said ok at 12 to about 1:30 you all have lunch...so we waited i kid you not 3 and a half hours in the damn assembly room (which i slept most of by the way) and then she said, ok everyone your case has gotten resovled and or cancelled, thank you for showing up to your civil duty obligation please take your certficate certifying that you have served on the way out thank you...so basically it was kinda a waste of time not really but atleasr i didnt need to go through the motions and this and that...
so after that i got home and ate, since all i had were noodles before i left, my mom got me mcdonalds, then i knocked out since i was still sleepy, woke up and took a shower, thennnn i knew i had to work at 8 to 10, but then i got a text from my co-worker saying she couldnt stay till 8, she had some family thing she had to go to, so i arrived at the store around 7:25-7:30 and just started my shift from there, it didnt seem like 2 hours since, a dad and his 2 girls came in and their dad was just small talking with me and this and that and i closed the doors at 9:45 and closed up shop, i got home around 10:17 and im pretty hungry and my french bread pizza will be ready in about 8 mins...
and maybe i get to see the most perfect girl in the world later tonight, we'll see =)
-toodles
craig<3kim
so after that i got home and ate, since all i had were noodles before i left, my mom got me mcdonalds, then i knocked out since i was still sleepy, woke up and took a shower, thennnn i knew i had to work at 8 to 10, but then i got a text from my co-worker saying she couldnt stay till 8, she had some family thing she had to go to, so i arrived at the store around 7:25-7:30 and just started my shift from there, it didnt seem like 2 hours since, a dad and his 2 girls came in and their dad was just small talking with me and this and that and i closed the doors at 9:45 and closed up shop, i got home around 10:17 and im pretty hungry and my french bread pizza will be ready in about 8 mins...
and maybe i get to see the most perfect girl in the world later tonight, we'll see =)
-toodles
craig<3kim
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
thoughts
well its about 12:31AM right now and i felt like posting since im trying to update as frequently as possible, might as well make use of this sucker. yes i had work today, closing as usual, but tomorrow im supposed to close as well. and im scheduled another saturday which i guess is fair?, but we'll see about next week, if i keep getting scheduled saturdays i dont know what im going to do, i really miss my dad, and if he cant understand that i just want to chill with my dad on saturdays then if worse comes to worse im going to have to get fired or quit... my family means a lot to me, and people might not understand what its like. the last time i saw my dad, was almost in a 2 month gap where we could just chill, and that wasnt even just father and son that was the hold family, yeah i love my family, but i havent had time to just be me and him in over 3 months believe it or not, and why you may ask? because some people just dont want to work on weekends? yes that is right, i mean shit if your parents open up a shop, you should be pulling more work or just as much as any of the other workers, and you should know how to open and close the damn store, is it people dont want to learn? or were just never taught? and some faggots (literally) say that oh i have school EVERY saturday, we all know that was a crock of shit, but its cool stuff will be changing all around now since school is amongst us in merely even a week.
well well, suprise i got jury duty tomorrow FUCK MY LIFE haha. atleast ill make 15 bucks -__-
-toodles
craig<3kim
well well, suprise i got jury duty tomorrow FUCK MY LIFE haha. atleast ill make 15 bucks -__-
-toodles
craig<3kim
Monday, August 17, 2009
piece of mind
well i am here on my good ol trusty pc i forgot how much i actually miss this veteran of a PC, its helped me with so many things, homework, friends, cheating gfs, you know the normal stuff haha. anyway im not sleepy at all and its already 12:02AM, well no jury duty for me tomorrow err today actually so thats a good thing, i just checked my financial aid and something has gone wrong with the acceptance of it, and i know that i can pay it off on my own, but then im just afraid something might come up right at that moment when i need to pay it off and my mom will need to borrow money again, well life is life right? got to make the best of what we have and are given.
there are times that i sit at my computer and i wonder that if my family is going to turn out like my mom's. just today i was very very VERY annoyed with her, i mean she said "well your sister moved out as fast as she could" and now i see the reason why, sometimes living with her is unbearable, i dont know how much longer i can take it here, there are times i REALLY want to move out, such as today, but then i think "ok if im gone, whos going to take care of her?", so i might be complaining and might be selfish for thinking that, but i mean i need a life too, i cant just keep working, and taking care of her, thats all ive basically been doing for the past few months, is i go to work, or im stuck at home doing chores, take today for example, she made me take down allll the boxes in the outside storage, and put them alll back up for what you may ask? for a freaking cord to the damn dvd player she has and that SHE PACKED...did we find it...NO!
also her obsession with computers sickens me, shes so compueter illiterate its like a joke, shes like oh my computer never had paint...and i know FOR A FACT, that every Windows XP has paint, and shes like nooo i never used it, and i was like "just cos you never used it, doesnt mean you never had it" and she just mumbles on about how she wants to crop a picture and she doesnt know how to do it. its like well instead of complaining why dont you just go look on google, jeez, thats what search engines are for. to look and find answers...but its ok, you got to learn somewhere right? you dont learn things on your own you learn from experience and or instruction.
well ok this vent has gone on long enough, i am now calm cool and collected *Ahem* till next time kiddos payce!
Craig<3Kim
there are times that i sit at my computer and i wonder that if my family is going to turn out like my mom's. just today i was very very VERY annoyed with her, i mean she said "well your sister moved out as fast as she could" and now i see the reason why, sometimes living with her is unbearable, i dont know how much longer i can take it here, there are times i REALLY want to move out, such as today, but then i think "ok if im gone, whos going to take care of her?", so i might be complaining and might be selfish for thinking that, but i mean i need a life too, i cant just keep working, and taking care of her, thats all ive basically been doing for the past few months, is i go to work, or im stuck at home doing chores, take today for example, she made me take down allll the boxes in the outside storage, and put them alll back up for what you may ask? for a freaking cord to the damn dvd player she has and that SHE PACKED...did we find it...NO!
also her obsession with computers sickens me, shes so compueter illiterate its like a joke, shes like oh my computer never had paint...and i know FOR A FACT, that every Windows XP has paint, and shes like nooo i never used it, and i was like "just cos you never used it, doesnt mean you never had it" and she just mumbles on about how she wants to crop a picture and she doesnt know how to do it. its like well instead of complaining why dont you just go look on google, jeez, thats what search engines are for. to look and find answers...but its ok, you got to learn somewhere right? you dont learn things on your own you learn from experience and or instruction.
well ok this vent has gone on long enough, i am now calm cool and collected *Ahem* till next time kiddos payce!
Craig<3Kim
Saturday, August 15, 2009
daily
well good morning fellow bloggers, im just chillin on my bed watching a knights tale, one of the best movies ever...today i gotta run around a lot ughh, first off, i gotta get ready and go to a aheim for a greoup meeting at goodies, then i gotta race back here and try to make it in time to pick up the cake at 99 ranch market for my sisters boyfriends birthday, then i gotta find the cord for the dvd player i think, and go to blockbuster to find a dvd that everyone will enjoy...but before that me and kim must go to pick up some cotscoooo pizza hehe, 2 large supreme pizzas =) that is the bombest pizza out there... so all in all it should be a fun day..
then after that i got invited to elaine's birthday party and so did kim, so that should be interesting, sounds like a fun night to me =)...well imma go out and see if i need to do any chores and make this one short. toodles
craig<3kim
then after that i got invited to elaine's birthday party and so did kim, so that should be interesting, sounds like a fun night to me =)...well imma go out and see if i need to do any chores and make this one short. toodles
craig<3kim
Thursday, August 13, 2009
at work
well hello everyone once again i am at work for lets see the 6th day in a row? but hey im making pretty good money ^_^, gotta help out the fambam nah mean? well this week has been pretty good, although its only thursday this week has pretty much come to an end...since Kim was back home for most of this week i didnt mind working at all, why not right, dont really have anything else to do with my time, id probably just be sitting at home wasting the day away in front of the TV..
did everyone hear about the stupid best buy tv crap? i know i know its old news but it still would have been epic if they honored theyre advertised, damn the "fine print" at the bottom of the paper ughh, oh well back to where i started haha
also something thats old news, the meteor shower, i walked outside i looked up at the sky and was like o.O i dont see squat except for that so cal smog and pollution, oh well always next year,
this weekend we are celebrating my sisters boyfriends birthday im pretty sure hes turning 24, but anyway, its really hectic because saturday was chosen by my mom and like every other saturday i had to work obviosuly because no one really works that day except for 2 out of the 5 workers and im always one of the 2 =D joy...-_- anyway, i got the day off but nowwww there is a meeting, and i dont have a problem with the meeting, but my mom is trippin out and is saying "if they know you have plans that day why dont they make it the next week if you MUST be there" but anyway it is what it is, and thank you Kim for helping my mom out this up coming week i dont know what id do without you hun...
but yeah not much to write, just sitting here chillin since only one person has bought something so far, well ill break this one short, till next time toodles..
craig<3kim
did everyone hear about the stupid best buy tv crap? i know i know its old news but it still would have been epic if they honored theyre advertised, damn the "fine print" at the bottom of the paper ughh, oh well back to where i started haha
also something thats old news, the meteor shower, i walked outside i looked up at the sky and was like o.O i dont see squat except for that so cal smog and pollution, oh well always next year,
this weekend we are celebrating my sisters boyfriends birthday im pretty sure hes turning 24, but anyway, its really hectic because saturday was chosen by my mom and like every other saturday i had to work obviosuly because no one really works that day except for 2 out of the 5 workers and im always one of the 2 =D joy...-_- anyway, i got the day off but nowwww there is a meeting, and i dont have a problem with the meeting, but my mom is trippin out and is saying "if they know you have plans that day why dont they make it the next week if you MUST be there" but anyway it is what it is, and thank you Kim for helping my mom out this up coming week i dont know what id do without you hun...
but yeah not much to write, just sitting here chillin since only one person has bought something so far, well ill break this one short, till next time toodles..
craig<3kim
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
as i sit and stare
as i sit here and stare to the outside world, i always wonder what is in store for me today, is it good or bad? will it make me angry or sad? will it fill me with joy and happiness? i know that i can be happy and i for a fact know that i can also be sad, there are a lot of things in this world that when i think about them make me uneasy or edgy so to speak, like take my family for example, whatever happened to the whole family is forever motto that people raved about was being so important to remember...family isnt always forever, they are just people and they do come and go as they please just like everyone else in this world. in reality i think some people are blessed and lucky to have their family still together and live with their siblings, as for me, we got our familt divided directly down the middle, we started out with four, and now we only have two, my mom and dad split up, and my sister lives with here boyfriend now and rarely comes to visit, and that just leaves me and my mom, i mean yeah i feel good that i live with my mom and help her out when she needs to go places, but i also want to live a personal life too, its just that i cant remember when i had time just to be at home and relax, im always on the go whether it be work, school, or taking care of my mom...i know i shouldnt be complaining about this type of thing, some people dont even have a mom or dad, which is why when i feel myself start to get angry i think you know what if they werent here tomorrow, oe today, or now, ill be super sorry that i was so mean to them, and also i know that if she knew how or could do it on her own she would, but hey what can i say sometimes it gets frusturating...
there are times when i just dont know what to do or what to feel about my future, scared, anxious, in love, adventerous, all of those mixed into one, and i love it, i know that things may look a bit cramped right now, but somehow sooner or later i always get through things no matter how bad they look, i got all the support i need, i got the most perfecr girl behind me, my homies got my back, and my mom is with me every step of the way,
as i sit here at work for the 4th day straight i reflect on this morning, when i woke up at 9:50 i remember thinking jeezus my body really is getting tired and it feels like i have no more energy, im one of the newest workers yet i work just as much as a guy who started out almost when the store first opened up to the public, with that being said i work 4 days a week, but when school kicks up i gotta say 3 is the max, i already made a
there are times when i just dont know what to do or what to feel about my future, scared, anxious, in love, adventerous, all of those mixed into one, and i love it, i know that things may look a bit cramped right now, but somehow sooner or later i always get through things no matter how bad they look, i got all the support i need, i got the most perfecr girl behind me, my homies got my back, and my mom is with me every step of the way,
as i sit here at work for the 4th day straight i reflect on this morning, when i woke up at 9:50 i remember thinking jeezus my body really is getting tired and it feels like i have no more energy, im one of the newest workers yet i work just as much as a guy who started out almost when the store first opened up to the public, with that being said i work 4 days a week, but when school kicks up i gotta say 3 is the max, i already made a
Monday, August 10, 2009
sit and think
as I sit here wit the sun shining in my face, and the time I have here to be alone, my friends give me an instant message on aim, seems like the only thing going on these days is heart break, do they not know how it feels to have their hearts broken someone that they really did like? with that being said, it makes me wonder about the background that they have come out of or the way that the parents have taught them to care for others and the type of people they hang arouund with, just because someone is taller, or cuter, or maybe has a way with words, doesn't mean that he or she will necessarily love you more or treat you better than your current significant other, yeah I mean at the beggining it seems like a dream or a fairytale you never want to end or never want to want to wake up that its so good, but just wait till a problem arises and you guys end up in a fight or disagreement, one of the most important things in a realtionship is communication and the willingness of both people to work it out and compromise. the one that also ties for first in my book is trust, I mean everyone is entitled to get jelous or uneasy with people your boyfriend ot girlfriend hang around with I mean its natural, but you need to think, ok they haven't done anything to break the trust that I have for them but I know that it is a lot easier said than done. I mean I'm speaking from expirience on the whole communication and trust part, I've learned it the hard way from the past. if anyone, no matter who it is whether it be your mom, or megan fox, or shoot even orlando bloom for you ladies, if they try to change you, then why be with them? it just means that they are not with you for who you really are deep down inside, believe me I've changed but now I'm the real me the real mccoy the real deal, the real craig steven sakuma, somewhere along the way somebody made me forget who I really was, and what was important in my life, which is friends and family. I know I may have seemed like I went on and on about bad trust issues or bad communication, I know that this will never happen to me again, she has changed me back to who I really am, she has brought me up to this point and I don't see any signs of stopping, she means everything to me, and I love her!
craig <3 kim
craig <3 kim
Friday, August 7, 2009
coming to an end.
as summer comes to an end, i must say, this summer didnt even feel like summer at all. i dont know what it was, maybe it was my job, maybe it was our group, maybe it was my family, maybe it was everything, it just feels like it was barely a month that i had summer, but none the less, i still say that last summer, that was the craziest and most fun of all, no worries what so ever, out every day every night, every night was basically a guys night out too epic... but this summer was fun in its own ways, i found new friends, new love, and found out that no matter what happens friends can pull through anything.
we have roughly around 2 more weeks before school begins...bring it on
we have roughly around 2 more weeks before school begins...bring it on
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
life.
it's really funny how things just fall into place...
i know in my past i was a bad person im not going to lie, use to run with some pretty bad people and did some pretty bad and ruthless things that i probably wont be able to forgive myself for even if i prayed every single night of my life. im done with that whole scene, im just over it and ive been over it, picking fights, thinking im the hardest thing that walks this planet, wearing clothes that probably will take 3 of me to fit...i take a look back at what ive done in the past and i think what was i thinking and why did i do it? for pride? for respect? for fear? for bragging rights? till this day i still dont know what i was thinking...
i know its my responsibility to take care of my mom, but at times i cant help but to explode, i know im already 20 years old and i should be mature enough not to but then again i might not be THAT young but im still in my prime, and i want to go out just to have fun with my best friends or just chill with the girl i love the most right now, when i explode and just storm off, i forget to sit down and think...damn..how would i feel if i cant do all the things that i do now, cant walk around the block, cant go to places without worrying about pain... so now ive realized that and im working on keeping my temper down..
i dont know what i did during these past few years for this angel to come into my life. before her i was just used as a filler to certain someone, yeah shes ok as a friend but sometimes i think back to my past with her and ask myself, why did i want to stay with her so badly? she just used me when i was needed, it such a staggering blow to my head because this girl now treats me SO RIGHT and i know what it is like to truly be loved by somebody. she makes me feel im actually wanted and worthy of her time. and i know deep down she will never do anything to hurt me, i love her so much, id do anything for her...You know who you are baby..
as for my dad, i dont know about him, i know he loves me and my sister very much, but the more my mom reveals to me the more i think and see it that a girl can change anything they want to about a man. he makes a pretty decent amount of money, but yet he always says hes "tapped out" i dont know if its the truth or he had gone drinking the night before? or maybe he had a date a few nights ago. i wish that i knew the truth what really went on between my parents to make them split up, i know that my mom and dad fought quite often, but i mean thats something so little, if you really love the person you guys can work through anything.
i got the best friends in the whole world. no matter what happens i know that they will be there for me, no matter how "shady" i may seem to be...all we need to do is work it out and maybe talk about the subject and seriously talk and not mess around or beat around the bush and i know we will meet eye to eye when its all said and done. without them times would be pretty rough and i know that i need them in my life.
my sister...through the years shes taken care of me, when i was younger she was so nice to me, she would make me food, teach me how to spell, work on my reading skills, and just be the best sister in the world. but now, after she attended UCR and she had graduated when we arrived home, she seemed like she had changed, she wasnt the same sister i knew for so many years, she would throw out rude comments about me, or my possessions, or how i dressed that day, i mean i didnt mind what she thought because im just not that type of guy, but some comments are just unneeded or we can do without them. just the other day she had offered me a bed that i couldnt refuse, and they even steamed cleaned it for me and all the works. then my mom starts complaining about something i can hear her from beyond the door, so i go out there and ask her whats wrong, and she says does it seem to you that lauren is acting like a little bitc* these days? and i just say iono and walk back to my room...but it is starting to occur to me now also...
but with all that being said, lets break it down.
-i know my mom loves me to death
-i know my dad will be there if i neeeded him
-i know my sister got my back with anything
-i know my girlfriend loves me with all her heart and soul
-i know my friends will be down for me anytime i need it
-i know ive changed my way of living
-i know im a better person now
I LOVE MY LIFE!, thank you for everyone that is in it, you guys make my life awesome..
-special shout out to my baby boo <3 i love you honey
p.s get well soon!
i know in my past i was a bad person im not going to lie, use to run with some pretty bad people and did some pretty bad and ruthless things that i probably wont be able to forgive myself for even if i prayed every single night of my life. im done with that whole scene, im just over it and ive been over it, picking fights, thinking im the hardest thing that walks this planet, wearing clothes that probably will take 3 of me to fit...i take a look back at what ive done in the past and i think what was i thinking and why did i do it? for pride? for respect? for fear? for bragging rights? till this day i still dont know what i was thinking...
i know its my responsibility to take care of my mom, but at times i cant help but to explode, i know im already 20 years old and i should be mature enough not to but then again i might not be THAT young but im still in my prime, and i want to go out just to have fun with my best friends or just chill with the girl i love the most right now, when i explode and just storm off, i forget to sit down and think...damn..how would i feel if i cant do all the things that i do now, cant walk around the block, cant go to places without worrying about pain... so now ive realized that and im working on keeping my temper down..
i dont know what i did during these past few years for this angel to come into my life. before her i was just used as a filler to certain someone, yeah shes ok as a friend but sometimes i think back to my past with her and ask myself, why did i want to stay with her so badly? she just used me when i was needed, it such a staggering blow to my head because this girl now treats me SO RIGHT and i know what it is like to truly be loved by somebody. she makes me feel im actually wanted and worthy of her time. and i know deep down she will never do anything to hurt me, i love her so much, id do anything for her...You know who you are baby..
as for my dad, i dont know about him, i know he loves me and my sister very much, but the more my mom reveals to me the more i think and see it that a girl can change anything they want to about a man. he makes a pretty decent amount of money, but yet he always says hes "tapped out" i dont know if its the truth or he had gone drinking the night before? or maybe he had a date a few nights ago. i wish that i knew the truth what really went on between my parents to make them split up, i know that my mom and dad fought quite often, but i mean thats something so little, if you really love the person you guys can work through anything.
i got the best friends in the whole world. no matter what happens i know that they will be there for me, no matter how "shady" i may seem to be...all we need to do is work it out and maybe talk about the subject and seriously talk and not mess around or beat around the bush and i know we will meet eye to eye when its all said and done. without them times would be pretty rough and i know that i need them in my life.
my sister...through the years shes taken care of me, when i was younger she was so nice to me, she would make me food, teach me how to spell, work on my reading skills, and just be the best sister in the world. but now, after she attended UCR and she had graduated when we arrived home, she seemed like she had changed, she wasnt the same sister i knew for so many years, she would throw out rude comments about me, or my possessions, or how i dressed that day, i mean i didnt mind what she thought because im just not that type of guy, but some comments are just unneeded or we can do without them. just the other day she had offered me a bed that i couldnt refuse, and they even steamed cleaned it for me and all the works. then my mom starts complaining about something i can hear her from beyond the door, so i go out there and ask her whats wrong, and she says does it seem to you that lauren is acting like a little bitc* these days? and i just say iono and walk back to my room...but it is starting to occur to me now also...
but with all that being said, lets break it down.
-i know my mom loves me to death
-i know my dad will be there if i neeeded him
-i know my sister got my back with anything
-i know my girlfriend loves me with all her heart and soul
-i know my friends will be down for me anytime i need it
-i know ive changed my way of living
-i know im a better person now
I LOVE MY LIFE!, thank you for everyone that is in it, you guys make my life awesome..
-special shout out to my baby boo <3 i love you honey
p.s get well soon!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Kim Ip<3
no matter what condition we go through i know that we will be together in the end, we have gone through so much already and it has only barely been 2 months haha, wow seems like so much longer, i know that we have gotten through one of the hardest parts in our relationship already and we stuck with each other, with that being said i know we can get through anything that is thrown our way...
i promise i will never be too busy for you, or say whatever subject it may be is more important...
you are the girl of my dreams and so much more....
i know you arent feeling well right now and i feel absolutely horrible for not being able to be there and make sure you're ok or even better, to make you feel back to normal, you know in a heartbeat id switch places with you so you never have to feel sick or anything bad ever again....
Ill be hoping and praying for you everyday that you feel better mucho quick =]
I Love You
~Craig Loves Kim
i promise i will never be too busy for you, or say whatever subject it may be is more important...
you are the girl of my dreams and so much more....
i know you arent feeling well right now and i feel absolutely horrible for not being able to be there and make sure you're ok or even better, to make you feel back to normal, you know in a heartbeat id switch places with you so you never have to feel sick or anything bad ever again....
Ill be hoping and praying for you everyday that you feel better mucho quick =]
I Love You
~Craig Loves Kim
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