as i sit and stare

as i sit here and stare to the outside world, i always wonder what is in store for me today, is it good or bad? will it make me angry or sad? will it fill me with joy and happiness? i know that i can be happy and i for a fact know that i can also be sad, there are a lot of things in this world that when i think about them make me uneasy or edgy so to speak, like take my family for example, whatever happened to the whole family is forever motto that people raved about was being so important to remember...family isnt always forever, they are just people and they do come and go as they please just like everyone else in this world. in reality i think some people are blessed and lucky to have their family still together and live with their siblings, as for me, we got our familt divided directly down the middle, we started out with four, and now we only have two, my mom and dad split up, and my sister lives with here boyfriend now and rarely comes to visit, and that just leaves me and my mom, i mean yeah i feel good that i live with my mom and help her out when she needs to go places, but i also want to live a personal life too, its just that i cant remember when i had time just to be at home and relax, im always on the go whether it be work, school, or taking care of my mom...i know i shouldnt be complaining about this type of thing, some people dont even have a mom or dad, which is why when i feel myself start to get angry i think you know what if they werent here tomorrow, oe today, or now, ill be super sorry that i was so mean to them, and also i know that if she knew how or could do it on her own she would, but hey what can i say sometimes it gets frusturating...

there are times when i just dont know what to do or what to feel about my future, scared, anxious, in love, adventerous, all of those mixed into one, and i love it, i know that things may look a bit cramped right now, but somehow sooner or later i always get through things no matter how bad they look, i got all the support i need, i got the most perfecr girl behind me, my homies got my back, and my mom is with me every step of the way,

as i sit here at work for the 4th day straight i reflect on this morning, when i woke up at 9:50 i remember thinking jeezus my body really is getting tired and it feels like i have no more energy, im one of the newest workers yet i work just as much as a guy who started out almost when the store first opened up to the public, with that being said i work 4 days a week, but when school kicks up i gotta say 3 is the max, i already made a